refocus.

(For the record, living overseas is a neat experience, but all of our days aren't filled with riding exotic animals and embracing this wonderful culture.  We ride that same roller coaster of life that the rest of the world does.  For me, coping with those tough days means eating stashes of imported food, afternoon naps, and blogging all that is running through my head!  This is the end result...)


The hardest part of leaving was leaving behind family- family that I was afraid my boys would forget, family that I was afraid couldn't imprint on their lives from this far away, and family that I knew God had blessed us with to make us better people.  So the first thing I did when we arrived was began learning how to live in India without that family.  I had to learn how to answer lots of my own silly questions that I'd call our moms for. I had to learn to juggle life with two kids where there were no breaks with the help of grandparents.  I had to learn to make food that reminded us of home and helped on those long days when all we wanted were a few days to touch those we love most.  And somehow, I managed, despite lots of tears (the most in 12 years according to Jason!) 

So when we get the most awesome opportunity to have family members visit it throws me EVERY time!  I'm so grateful for the company, but it takes me a few weeks to learn how to do India differently.  It takes me a few weeks to learn to have help again.  It takes me a few weeks to learn how to relinquish some of that control and routine that I live for (sinful, I know!) And just about the time it all becomes normal again, those sweet people hop on planes headed back to the good ole' US of A! 

And here I sit this morning with those same feeling I started with in India.  'Worry' that my boys aren't getting what they need without daily walks with grandparents or 'sadness' that tonight they'll sleep alone with no spend-the-night fun for at least 6 months.  'Stress' that I'm once again the one that has to wipe EVERY bottom, pour EVERY cup of apple juice, wash EVERY dish, and cook EVERY meal.  But also 'GRATEFUL' that even if for 1 month, we have opportunities for sweet time with families despite the aftermath!

So as I wallowed in self-pity, I did the only thing I knew to do.  I flipped furiously through my Bible for something that might jump off the page, because all those emotions listed above leave a girl asking, "What is it you want from me, God?"  I read some great stuff.  There were verses about being a good mother.  Verses about not being a nagging wife.  There was encouragement to be a good neighbor.  Instructions about how to raise my children.  And clear direction about following God's path.  And at the end of reading I realized what God was telling me.  

His plans for me aren't dependent on where I am.  He asks the same thing from his daughters in India that He asks from those of us from America.  He wants me to raise my boys to love Him.  He wants me to love Jason like He loves the Church.  He wants me to share His love with others I meet.  And He wants me to seek Him in all things.  My joy isn't found in where I lay my head at night.  It's found in doing what He asks no matter where my feet are planted. 

Don't worry... that pill is still hard for me to swallow and it's actually stuck in my throat as I write, but that's my goal.  To be His child in any place.  Under any circumstances.  And to be content doing what He's called me to do whether I'm surrounded by extended family and friends or whether I sit in India among billions of people that I've never met.  I could spend lots of time comparing where I am to where I think I 'ought' to be, but the fact is: I HAVE TO LIVE FOR CHRIST IN THIS MOMENT.  

So as we prepare to spend another 6 months in India without being able to touch a loved one from home, my perspective is not focused on what is to come.  I choose to focus on today.  To focus on what I can do where I am in this moment.  To do what we came here to do: show the love of Christ to a nation of a over a billion!  How can you wallow in self-pity when you have a task that big to accomplish?  

five on friday

1.  I didn't post last week because we took a trip to Delhi.  Our visa requires us to leave India every 6  months, so we took a flying 24 hour trip to Nepal mid-week.  I took my camera so I could capture our trip.  The trip started on an airplane with two boys playing iPods and eating snacks.

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And as far as pictures go, that's the end of our trip.  My camera battery died before we ever landed in Nepal.  Major fail on my part!

2.  We spent our time in Delhi shopping, eating, and doing a little sightseeing.  Anybody who knows me well knows that sightseeing is not exactly my thing, but despite the deadly heat, I survived.  Of course, when you have good rickshaw drivers like these, it makes the trip more enjoyable!

3.  We saw some neat things on our trip to Old Delhi, but those clean well-cared for parts of Delhi just don't scream "India."  This is more like it:

Building huge fountains would be no fun if crazy kids didn't use them for diving boards.  And it wouldn't be complete without some unbearably filthy water!  I've been hot before, but only sheer desperation would drive me to leap in this 'swamp!'



4.  When we were in Delhi, we witnessed our first downpour since last year.  Our neighbors told us that Bhopal had a few showers while we were gone as well.  Looks like monsoon season will start very soon!  Someone referred to monsoon season as "The Big Flush."  It's such an appropriate name.  Monsoon helps clean up some of the dirt, gives nutrients to plants and trees, and in general, just refreshes India!

5.  But monsoon doesn't come alone.  It brings with it humidity, ants, and a few other unwanted things. This week, I saw a trail of ants trying to enter our window outside, so I acted quickly with the bug spray.  Not only did I get rid of the ants, I took out an army of crickets.  Heres' the pile of crickets I swept up this morning.  I'd say we've had a "cricket massacre!"



In a country where people believe in reincarnation, here's hoping no one returned as a cricket!

Have a happy weekend, friends!

thinking about you.

This morning I opened the email, and it simply said:

Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.  I love you!!!!!!!!

And my heart smiled.  The email caught me off guard, but him thinking of me was no surprise.  He's done it my entire life.  

He thought about me when I wore pigtails and started every sentence with a question word.  He patiently listened, even if he didn't always know the answer.  He thought about me when he spent his vacations behind the steering wheel of a boat so that I could ski all day.  He thought about me all those days when he let me play school with his staplers and highlighters when he should have been making loans to customers.  He thought about me each morning when he woke me up with sweet tea and breakfast on my bathroom cabinet.  But he never yelled to wake me up.  He knew that a warm cloth on my eyes was the way to go.  He thought about me when he carried my backpack downstairs and turned my car around in the driveway so I didn't have to worry about reverse.  He thought about me when he delivered lunch from my favorite restaurants in high school, and he knew that an extra bag for the secretary made our plan go smoother!  He thought about me when he sat in the stands at every game to watch me cheer, and I always knew he was the biggest fan in the crowd.  He thought about me when he talked me through the tough days of my freshman year in college- the days where being far from him didn't come so easy.  He thought about me when he mailed me a card EVERY day that first year... and I do mean EVERY day.  He thought about me when I was making big choices about moving farther away from home and getting married.  And he thought about me when he said yes to the greatest husband I could have asked for.  He thought about me when adoption became our plan for growing our family, and he welcomed my two boys to our family with the same love he has for me.  He thought about me when I packed those sweet boys up and our family moved half-way around the world.  He still thinks of me every time he sends a package filled with all of our favorite things!  And he thinks of me when he shops for plane tickets so we can see each other again.

But when I think of him, I'm reminded of one simple truth:  

Every little girl should be so lucky to have a daddy that thinks of her- even little girls that are 32 years old! 

Happy Father's Day to the greatest daddy I know.  Thanks for always thinking of me.  You are loved more than I could ever express in words.

five on friday

1.  Getting a haircut is always something I do on a whim.  This week, I got the itch and headed to the local salon.  Because the air is so dry, I mentioned to the stylist that my hair was terribly dry.  So he recommended a "treatment."  I didn't know what it entailed, but apparently it comes with a deep conditioning and A HEAD/ SHOULDER MASSAGE!  I'm no stranger to massages, but I've got to tell you that an Indian Head Massage ranks right up there with the best!  I'm thinking I need a "treatment" weekly!

2.  I still miss my hairstylist, Melanie Mitchell, in Tupelo.  I don't think anyone will compare in India.  I have had some 'okay' cuts since coming here, but I always end up looking for a poor friend who's not afraid to whack a little extra off for me here and there.  I was so happy Monday night when I realized I had the perfect candidate- the Mother-in-Love.  She was just getting ready for bed when I laid out my request.  Of course, she agreed.  But shortly after beginning, she told me she had already taken her Ambien (sleeping meds) for the night!

    Let me just tell you- I wouldn't have cared if she had shaved my head.  It was worth every second getting to listen to her talk under the influence of Ambien.  It was the most confusing, random, funniest conversation I've ever been a part of!  Oh if I could have recorded it!  I'll be glad to share details with anyone interested! :) Just kidding, Mrs. Delba- you can count on this "BUCKAROO" to keep her mouth shut!  It is forever etched in my memory though.

3.  Believe it or not, my hair is actually straight.  Jason trimmed a few random hairs, but other than that, I came out okay.  I let someone under the influence and a man who couldn't cut a straight line if he tried trim my hair.  Do you get points for such bravery?

4.  Jason's mom and I also had massages this week.  It was much needed.  Prior to the appointment, Jason's mom very seriously asked me was there anything she needed to know before the massage.  I assured her it would be completely normal, despite my past experience with sketchy massages.   So we parted ways.  I was enjoying my private massage, when suddenly, things went VERY awry.  In America, full body massages don't exactly mean the "FULL" body.  But sometimes in India, they mean  ALMOST the full body.  I didn't think about my own uncomfortableness long when I quickly remembered my last words to the MIL... "It'll be a normal massage.  Nothing to worry about!"  Turns out she had the SAME experience I did.  We enjoyed swapping stories afterwards- she definitely took it better than I thought she would!  I was reminded once again- nothing is certain in India....

5.  A few weeks ago we attended a Mother's Day Program.  Days before the kids delivered these invitations:

Bless them.  My mother is a rock-star, but she could NEVER take the place of my God.  Aren't you grateful that you know the Truth of His Power?  I'm glad He doesn't have to count on sinful mothers such as myself to do His job!  He is definitely EVERYWHERE- even amidst the darkness of India.  Please continue to pray for these people!

Happy weekend, friends!  Enjoy it!

what's it like?- appliances

Just before coming to India, Jack very seriously approached me with some information regarding India.  He proceeded to tell me he KNEW "that we wouldn't have electricity in India, and it was like a desert."  I was humored by several parts of his misinformation.  First, we do have electricity, even though we've spent our fair share of days in power outages.  Secondly, we don't exactly live in a desert, but I can see where it can get confusing, as we've experienced temperatures of 115 and above the last week.  But the funniest part to me was that he actually thought I would move somewhere that didn't have electricity!  He must think pretty highly of me... but I assure you- this girl needs power.

Even though his information was a little off, many things that work off of that electricity are in fact very different from what we are used to.  The appliances are a little different and have taken some effort to get accustomed to them!  I thought you might enjoy seeing a few things in our house and learn how things work.  Let's start in the kitchen.

Probably the most important appliance in our kitchen is our water filter.

Here's the quick version of our water system.  Twice a day the water manager in our colony turns on the pump that fills a black tank on our roof with water.  (Disregard the family picnic that is going on in this picture.  It was my only shot of the water tank.)

Then the water from this tank flows down when we turn on faucets, showers, and washing machines.  It's definitely not drinkable though.  It would probably make us very sick, hence, making the water filter a MUST!  We get our drinking water from the filter.  We, also, use the filtered water for washing vegetables/fruits or when cooking with water that will not be boiled or cooked at a very high temperature.

My next favorite appliance would be my stove top.  I never cooked with gas before coming to India, but now that I've used it, I'm not sure I'll be able to go back.  I didn't know it was possible for water to boil so quickly!

Stovetops and ovens aren't typically a set here in India.  Instead, we have small, very small ovens that sit on our counter tops.

It is larger than a toaster oven from America, but not much larger.  I can fit a small baking pan in there, but a typical 9 x 13 baking dish wouldn't quite make the cut.  It makes cooking interesting and keeps me planning ahead when making dinner.  I can only cook one thing at a time in it usually, and the cooking times in my oven tend to be way longer.  As an added bonus, it is a great heater.  It releases enough heat to drastically raise the temperature in my kitchen.  Sometimes it can be hard to appreciate that quality though when your house temperature is 95 degrees.   It's safe to say that cooking in this heat is not for the faint!

Another appliance that sits high on the wall above the sink is a small water heater.

This might not be an important appliance to all families, but this family likes butter and has been known to fry a thing or two.  Cold water just doesn't do the trick when washing those dishes.  This little guy gives us about 10 seconds of "fry-your hand-off" water, but it's worth it to get the dishes squeaky clean.

Our refrigerator (no picture) is just like something you'd see in America.  It's the style with the freezer on top of the fridge.  The biggest difference and adjustment for me has been that it doesn't have an automatic ice maker.  You might not think very often about your dear ice maker, but let me assure you- those things are a jewel!  Ice trays have become a new friend in our house.  One of the added features is the alarm that sounds when you leave the door open too long. The alarm is the tune of "Jingle Bells."  How funny that they use a Christmas song in a country where Christmas isn't even celebrated!

Our hot water in the bathrooms works a lot like the kitchen.  The only difference is that the water heater is a little bigger.

The hot water is NOT endless, but thankfully we have pretty large heaters and can take lengthy showers!  Good thing, because Jack could spend the evening in there.

You've seen some pictures of Max after a hard day in India:

No doubt a washing machine is NECESSITY!  Our is a good old Whirlpool and gets those clothes sparkling white!

The difference lies in its location.  Our machine is outside- no laundry rooms here!  The cover on it helps keep off a little of the dirt that is so wildly popular in India.

My favorite appliance just might be the dryer.  It's simple to work.  It has two cycles- "day time" and "night time."

I recommend "day time."  In the hot season, clothes dry in about 1 hour.  If you leave them overnight, it's okay.  I find that your clothes may be a little "crustier" than before, but you learn to live with that.  A huge reminder is to use Downy in every wash cycle.  It makes your jeans bendable and your underwear soft.  The only downfall of the "dryer" is monsoon season.  I've rewashed my fair share of clothes that didn't make it out of the rain in time!

Last, but most definitely not least, are the air conditioners.  Central heat and air is not typically found in homes.  So we installed AC's in each bedroom and in the den.  The bedrooms have window units.  They do a fair job cooling, but my favorite thing about them is the noise!  India stays up LATE and these Americans appreciate the hum of our AC when we climb into bed at 10 PM each night.

The family room has a split unit AC.  It does a much better job of cooling, but they are more expensive than window units.  They are also quiet!

We typically run our AC's at night, but the "AC Nazi" (otherwise known as Jason) will occasionally allow us to run them during the day.  Even though we don't run them much, our bill is very comparable to America.  Cool air is definitely not cheap!

That's just a small look at a few things in our house.  We have lots of small appliances as well, but most of them are the same ones you use every day!  If we ever leave India, I think I'll actually miss a few of the things mentioned above!  But you can still think of me when you pull your soft, warm clothes out of the dryer!  Some things just aren't replaceable! :)

five on friday

1.  Guess who made it to Bhopal?  Jack's and Max's "Coco"... Jason's "Mama"... or my "Mother-in-Love!"  We got up extra early to pick her up at the airport.  Despite thinking we were late, we were actually a few minutes early, so we waited patiently for our first glance at her.  

When we did finally get a look at her,  we were separated.  So while she waited on her luggage, we passed the time by taking pictures of each other!



This is the place where I would post the pictures of us seeing her for the first time in almost 11 months, but with all the excitement, there are no pictures of that moment! :(

Even though she was terribly tired from the time difference, there was no rest for the weary.  After unpacking her bags and ooh-ing and aah-ing over the fun things she brought us, she and Jack got right to work on Legos.




We looked around town a little, and she and Jason took a scooter ride.



I'm sure I'll have more of our fun in the days to come, but for now, she's had her Ambien and is safely tucked in for the night.  We are hoping she gets a good night's rest so we can show her around tomorrow!

2.  She brought some awesome things with her.. toys for the boys, prizes for Jason and I, much needed necessities that aren't available in India like deodorant, and snacks.  But she had something else packed in those suit cases.  Would you believe she smuggled RIBS into this country?  My new best friend, Greg Reed, hooked us up!!!!!!

Before Jason could even heat them up, he and Jack were sampling them.





After the horribly LONG 10 minutes to warm them up, we sat down to enjoy our first ribs in almost 11 months!





Greg Reed- you have no idea how much we enjoyed them!  And what started out like this...



...ended like this!



Thanks a million!  They were so worth it!

3.  After a short trip to town, we returned home to find that plate of rib bones was empty.  The culprit was this sweet girl....

She may never eat dog food again!  Lucy would also like to say "Thank You", Greg!

4.  Evidently, Max got word that Coco was coming soon.  So this week, he added some fun things to my calendar.   Looks like we'll start this week by doing "X" every day.  New week, we'll add in a little "M", and we'll close out the month with some "A."  After writing on my walls a few weeks ago, we worked to drive home the point that we ONLY write on paper.  Obviously we should be more specific about the paper! :)

5.  In addition to being a graffiti artist, Max has a huge obsession with lining up Hot Wheels cars.  These crazy formations can be found all over our house.  I sure am going to miss these "parking lots" one day.  I had to snap a picture this week so I wouldn't forget what made his heart smile when he was 4!



And just because my life is so interesting this week, I'll add a BONUS to five on friday!

6.  We have a new pet--- a BABY!

He welcomed Coco today!  I'm not sure she's as thrilled about our pets as the boys are!  Try not to be jealous of our luxurious life!  Happy Friday!

five on friday

1.  In case you didn't know, Mother's Day is Sunday.  Believe it or not, my neighborhood put on a Mother's Day program last night.  I attended out of curiosity.  Little did I know that halfway through the program I'd be called up to tell about celebrations of Mother's Day in America as well as give a speech about my own mother.  I hate you missed my heartfelt words about you, Mama.  You would have been so proud! :)  Impromptu is not really my thing!  I'm pretty sure I was the worst part of the program!

2.  After hearing all the children say wonderful things about their mother, I came home and asked my boys what they would say about me if someone asked them.  Jack said he'd say "[I am] beautiful."  Max chimed in and said, "Mama- I'd say you're HOT!"  No presents needed when your kids shower you with words like that!

3.  We're stepping out these days in India.  We hired a cook this week.  Jason got tired of eating Pringles for lunch, so he insisted we find someone to help.  Lalita comes every day at 11:00 and by 12:00, there' s a piping hot meal ready and waiting.  I still fix the occasional PB&J for the picky four-year-old, but Jack dives right in!

4.  I'm not sure if you know, but we are expecting our second guest in India next week.  Jason's mom is coming!  We are so excited to see a familiar face and show her all around.  Mrs. Delba- I'll be sure to let Lalita know you're coming.  We'll prepare a big Indian spread in honor of your arrival!  :)


5.  And last, but not least- I wanted to introduce you to my sweet friends.  You might have seen them in yesterday's post.  This is Vishesh (Vee-shesh) and Vanshiika (Von-Sheek-Uh), our househelper's children!


I'm pretty sure they love me mainly because I have an iPad.  But I have other great qualities.  I play a mean game of "kitchen" with Vanshiika, and I even pretend to talk on the phone in Hindi!  Vishesh knows I'll feed him a whole bag of chips at each visit with a big cup of apple juice so that keeps him coming back.  I love to see them trailing behind our house helper in the mornings, but lately they stop by at all times of the day just to hang out!  I love making new friends--- even small ones!