what if.

Ever started to do something and your gut told you it was a bad idea?  Ever verbally said "this is dangerous," only to find yourself doing it anyway?  Ever wondered "what if" in the aftermath of stupid decisions.

I've asked myself that a million times today.
What if I had not strayed from my morning routine?
What if I I didn't always HAVE to finish up some crafty project?
What if I had just paid someone to cut the board?
What if the saw hadn't slipped out of his hand?
What if I could have unplugged it faster?
What if it had hit more than his hand?
What if he had been seriously injured?
What if....
What if...
What if...

In the midst of the drama, I sat alone in a waiting room with the boys, crying, asking myself "why" and thinking of "what could have happened."  And then Jason sent me a text from the operating room:

"Stop.  It happened and could have been worse.  

It was not.  Be grateful." 

And so I dug deep and chose to be grateful.  Because the Lord certainly was gracious to us today.  

I'm thankful that Jason remains calm and cool in all situations.  

I'm thankful that the saw only hit his hand.

I'm thankful that no one else was hurt.

I'm thankful the metal washing machine took some of the impact and threw the saw.

I'm thankful we have a vehicle to get to the hospital.

I'm thankful for doctor friends that we can call in emergencies.

I'm thankful for little boys that encourage their daddy to hang in there by saying, "I hope you don't die, Daddy."

I'm thankful for immediate service at the hospital.  

I'm thankful for iPads.  Three hours is really a long time to ask a boy to sit.

I'm thankful for the sweet man (that I'd never met before) beside me who watched the boys in the waiting room so I could at least check on Jason a few times.

I'm thankful for the man who went up and down the stairs for me at least four times for meds from the pharmacy so I didn't have to take the boys up and down four flights.

I'm thankful that even when waiting room couches look like this, operating rooms are stocked with saline and iodine and antibiotics.

I'm thankful for a house helper, who stayed behind and cleaned up the accident scene and locked up when she was finished.

I'm thankful that this thing is packed up and ready to be returned to the store.

I'm thankful for a sweet, dear friend on the other side of the world that stayed up WAY past her bedtime to make sure we were all okay.  You are loved, Kerstin Higgins.

I'm thankful that Jason is an example for me.
I'm thankful that this guy is at home with me tonight with nine stitches and a war wound that will make a great story.... someday.  

Tonight I'm just thankful that the "what ifs" are just that... things that didn't happen and proof that God protected us today.