chapter 2

The verse of one of my favorite songs goes like this:

I have a Maker.

He knows my name.

Before even time began,

My life was in His hands.

I’ve known for well over half of my life that I had a Maker. I rest in the fact that He knows my name and even the number of hairs on my head. But amidst my many selfish desires and goals, I’ve often missed the fact that before even time began, my life was in His hands.

Recently, an intern counselor posed a question to the students of my elementary school. She spoke of goals and asked each student to choose one that they wished to see attained. Each student was asked to write and illustrate it as a reminder. As I scan the halls of our school, I often stop to read the pages of goals that line the walls. Many of them are age-appropriate—“My goal is to read lots of books” or “My goal is to throw a touchdown.” My own child wrote, “My goal is to take care of my little brother.” When I read them I can’t help but think of my own goals as a small girl. My goals were sweet and simple. They centered around me. They were things that I wanted, things I hoped for, and things I dreamed of. But that’s where they stopped—with me.

There’s an old saying that says, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.” Even I am amused at how differently my life turned out in comparison to the plans I had for myself. Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.” When I look back, I can see this verse lived out in so many ways. My plans were to get married. The Lord’s plans were for me to marry a Godly husband and father that would be faithful to God’s Word. My plans were to birth my own children. God’s plans were for us to experience the beautiful picture of adoption twice and to understand in a small way that which He did for us 2000 years ago! My plans were to live securely in my salvation, knowing that I could never be plucked from His hand. But His plan was to stretch me, to use me, to mold me for His purposes. Though His plans weren’t always mine, Jeremiah 29:11 rings true: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

For our family that future is not at all what we expected. A year ago, we began seeking God’s direction in our life. Our plans had always been to serve in a local church. Jason would be a pastor, and I would serve in children’s ministry. But God’s plans were beyond anything we could conceive. In July our family will be moving to India where we will be serving as international missionaries. The state where we will live is made up of over 70 million people, and less than 1% of those people are Christians.

As I recall those innocent goals of the children at my school, I am reminded of how God can take our desires, talents, and needs. He, then, somehow combines them into His perfect plan for us. And though my paper may have one time said, “My goal is to get married, have children, and become a teacher,” I’m grateful that God saw past my selfish desires. He is able to use a willing family with little international experience to accomplish His goal of reaching the nations. Of all the multi-colored papers that fill the hallways of my school, one in particular says where my heart is today:

The last verse of the song I began with goes like this:

I have a Father. He calls me His own.

He’ll never leave me, No matter where I go.

As we close one chapter and begin a new, I am reminded that whether I am here or 8,000 miles away, our God is the same. Selling all of our possessions, saying goodbye to family and friends, and taking two small boys half-way around the world will be no small feat, but knowing that we do not step out alone is a peace that passes all understanding, no matter where we go!

To those of you reading this, we covet your prayers. This blog will certainly be an enormous asset in helping us keep our family and friends informed. I will, in addition, be sending out emails. If you wish to be added to that list, please email me at marlinsarah@hotmail.com or leave your email address as a comment below!