Part II: ADOPTION (a·doption n.): growing a baby in your heart instead of your belly.

Thank you to everyone who read my post yesterday! I am so proud of Jack, and I appreciate you allowing me to share his story with you! Today I want to tell you about Max. I was initially going to write a story for Max similar to Jack's but then I had a "ah-ha" moment! I already had a story like that!

Let me give you a little background. When we found out about Max, we were very cautious. In fact, only a few, very close friends knew that his adoption was even a possibility. We have been through several failed adoption possibilities along the way, and we didn't want to get our hopes or anyone else's. So... we just kept it very quiet... which is awfully hard!

The letter you are about to read is something that I wrote just a few days after Max was born to send out to family and friends. I wanted to fill them in on our new addition and the details that we had kept quiet for so long! Thanks again for reading and allowing me to share!

Dear Friends:

I just wanted to take a moment and say hello to you all! I’m sure this took most of you by surprise, but our family has been patiently waiting for this day for quite some time. If you have a moment, I’d love to tell you the story of how this all came to be! Prepare yourself…it’s quite a long story!

When Jason and I realized in 2003 our chances of ever having a baby were slim, we began talking to people whom we knew had adopted. A couple in my parents’ Sunday school class had recently adopted a newborn, and we inquired about the process, and got a number for a lawyer in another state. We were sold and quickly signed on. Unfortunately, the luck that they had would not happen for us. The lawyer returned our money within a few months, due to a lack of babies. She assured us she would keep us next on her list, and she would call if anything ever came about! Anxious to have a family, we quickly put that behind us and moved on to Option #2.

Another couple from my hometown church had recently adopted two children from Ukraine. It took me a while to get on board this ship, but we signed on with a lady from Atlanta, Georgia within a few months, and she had all of our paperwork started by January of 2005. Most of you know the story of Jack, but we left for Kiev, Ukraine, in November of 2005, and returned home 46 “very long days” later, with the child I knew God had set aside for us all along. Jack was 2 ½ and he was everything we had prayed for.

Well, as Jack is getting older, now 4 ½, we really wanted to add on to our family. Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as it seems. I, like most women, have dreamed of having a newborn baby, but domestic adoptions are just so hard to come by. Because we already knew the ropes of Ukraine, even though I swore I’d never go back to that place, we contacted the lady who helped us get Jack, and we started the process all over again around April of this year. I now know it was a God thing, but during the beginning stages of the process, Jason was not totally sold on the idea. He had some reservations about going back, the money it would cost, and many other things. I knew in my heart that I wasn’t as on board as I thought, and by August, we told our facilitator that we had changed our mind. It was probably the best thing we ever did, though we had no idea at that time!

One night in the middle of September, I got home a little late and I swung by the house to get Jason for dinner. When he got in the car, he simply handed me a letter and calmly said, “This came in the mail today.” What I read took me completely by surprise. It was a letter from the lawyer that we had not talked to in over 3 years. It said that a birthmother had recently come into their office and was looking for an adoptive family. The lawyer said that she did not know where this letter would find our family, but if we were interested, to please call her back. The letter had been sent to our address in Myrtle where we used to live, and had been postmarked nearly 2 weeks earlier. It took that long to reach us in Tupelo. We haven’t received any forwarded mail in quite some time. I told Jason that I was sure they noticed it was from a lawyer and they probably thought we were being sued or something!!! Of course, I called her a million times the next day and finally got her 2 minutes before bus dismissal. I figured they had already found a family, but it was worth a try.

When she answered, she reassured me by saying she was so glad I called back, and that they had not found a family. She asked me to create a book about our family and send it for the birthmother to view. I made the book as fast as I could, and I had it in the mail by the last week of September. The lawyer did let me know that the birthmother would view two books and that she would let me know something as soon as the birthmother had made a decision. It was so hard to decide what to put in the book, as I wanted it to be perfect. The last thing I told Jason about it was that she may not pick us because we had Jack. I figured she would pick a family that did not have any children!

I did not hear back from her until October 15^th, when she e-mailed only to let me know that the birthmother was taking her time and we had not been eliminated. I would not hear from her again for quite some time.

By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I had taken it completely off of my mind. I had decided that it would not be a reality, and we would just move on from there. The Monday we came back from Thanksgiving, Jason called that afternoon and told me to call and listen to the messages at the house. I did, and there was a message from the lawyer saying she had good news and to call her back. At this point, I could think of only one thing that sounded like good news to me.

When I returned her call, she said that we had been chosen. You have to know that I have countless stories of failed adoptions that we have been through. We have very scarred hearts, and we are very cautious because of it. I was elated, but in the back of my mind, I knew things could change in a moment. She asked us to set up a time to meet the birthmother. We planned to meet on Wednesday, December 5^th.

Jason and I took off work and headed out-of-state. This was her birthday. I can’t imagine why she wanted to meet on this day, but it was her choice. It was probably the scariest meeting I’ve ever been a part of.

She was nothing like I imagined. She was 24, had a wonderful personality and we all just “clicked.” Her dad met with us, and it was so neat to see all of the similarities between our families. She just wasn’t ready to be a mother, and she knew this was what she had to do. She went on to tell us that she chose us because we had another little boy. If you remember, I figured that would be what would keep her from choosing us! Isn’t God great? She wanted her baby to grow up in a big family with siblings, cousins, and lots of people!

When we left, she gave each of us a hug, and she told the lawyer the next day that she had had the best birthday ever. She said that she never imagined finding someone that was everything she wanted, but we were it.

Now it was just a matter of waiting. Her due date was January 16^th, but at a doctor’s appointment on January 3^rd, she had already dilated 3 cm. We figured the baby would be earlier, so we began packing and preparing. If you can imagine, it’s hard to prepare for something like this when you are guarding you heart for fear it won’t work out. On Monday, January 7^th, the lawyer called and said that she was at the hospital. The teachers who were in planning with me will recall my quick exit and that I did not return! Unfortunately it was a false alarm, and we did not end of going that day. She went to the doctor last Friday, January, 11^th, but the doctor was she was not far enough along for him to induce her at that point. He said he would induce her Thursday, the 17^th, if she had not delivered by her due date on the 16^th. We had made our minds up that we would leave Wednesday night after church and make it to see him born.

As you might now know, she went into labor on Monday afternoon around 3:00. I had almost gotten home when I got the call, and I’ve never gotten a vehicle loaded so fast in all of my life. We were on the road for maybe an hour when the lawyer called to say that he had been born.

The next six hours seemed like an eternity, but we reached the hospital at midnight. When we got on her floor, the nurses said that the baby was in her room. Talk about a knot in your stomach. We went into to see her, as well as met her mother and sister, and she quickly handed me the baby… one of those moments I won’t ever forget. After visiting a moment, the lawyer asked if we could take him to the room where we would stay and she said sure. She commented by saying, “He doesn’t feel like he’s mine. He’s supposed to be your baby!” I felt an overwhelming sense of relief as we headed to our room. The rest is basically history. We spent some time with the mother the next morning, because a friend visited and wanted to see the baby. She signed her rights away later that morning. She did not say goodbye, as I can only imagine how much strength she must have had to do this! I’ve thought about her a hundred times since then, and the only thing I can come up with is that God is sovereign. He knows all, and everything is in His ultimate plan. He knew we wanted a baby and that she wasn’t ready for one. He granted her the strength and peace to go through with this, and us the patience, to wait for a moment such as this!

Anyways, I just wanted you all to know that we are a very excited family of four, and we cannot wait to be home! I want to show him to the world, and hopefully we will be back in a few days. We have few legal technicalities that have to be take care of and then we will be headed home! Thank you for your prayers and concern, and I can’t wait for all of you to see Baby Max!!!

Love, Sarah

And the rest is history-in-the-making! Max is now two and a half... and he fits every description of a typical two-year-old! He may not look exactly like us, but he is just perfect for our family! I wouldn't trade anything for those infant days! I would have loved to hold Jack as a brand new baby!

We are still able to send updates to Max's birthmother along with a letter if we choose, and I treasure this opportunity! It's the least I can do for someone who entrusted me with their baby! And no... she doesn't know who we are, but yes... we know who she is! And we will forever pray for her and remember the sacrifice that she made for that sweet little 7 lb 11 oz baby that she gave life to!

If I could put my gratitude for Max into a song, it would be found in Mark Schultz's song "Everything to Me." Check it out and, also, check out the new photos of my sweet Max at the bottom!

The Link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPYaRJOWznk