chapter 2

The verse of one of my favorite songs goes like this:

I have a Maker.

He knows my name.

Before even time began,

My life was in His hands.

I’ve known for well over half of my life that I had a Maker. I rest in the fact that He knows my name and even the number of hairs on my head. But amidst my many selfish desires and goals, I’ve often missed the fact that before even time began, my life was in His hands.

Recently, an intern counselor posed a question to the students of my elementary school. She spoke of goals and asked each student to choose one that they wished to see attained. Each student was asked to write and illustrate it as a reminder. As I scan the halls of our school, I often stop to read the pages of goals that line the walls. Many of them are age-appropriate—“My goal is to read lots of books” or “My goal is to throw a touchdown.” My own child wrote, “My goal is to take care of my little brother.” When I read them I can’t help but think of my own goals as a small girl. My goals were sweet and simple. They centered around me. They were things that I wanted, things I hoped for, and things I dreamed of. But that’s where they stopped—with me.

There’s an old saying that says, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.” Even I am amused at how differently my life turned out in comparison to the plans I had for myself. Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.” When I look back, I can see this verse lived out in so many ways. My plans were to get married. The Lord’s plans were for me to marry a Godly husband and father that would be faithful to God’s Word. My plans were to birth my own children. God’s plans were for us to experience the beautiful picture of adoption twice and to understand in a small way that which He did for us 2000 years ago! My plans were to live securely in my salvation, knowing that I could never be plucked from His hand. But His plan was to stretch me, to use me, to mold me for His purposes. Though His plans weren’t always mine, Jeremiah 29:11 rings true: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

For our family that future is not at all what we expected. A year ago, we began seeking God’s direction in our life. Our plans had always been to serve in a local church. Jason would be a pastor, and I would serve in children’s ministry. But God’s plans were beyond anything we could conceive. In July our family will be moving to India where we will be serving as international missionaries. The state where we will live is made up of over 70 million people, and less than 1% of those people are Christians.

As I recall those innocent goals of the children at my school, I am reminded of how God can take our desires, talents, and needs. He, then, somehow combines them into His perfect plan for us. And though my paper may have one time said, “My goal is to get married, have children, and become a teacher,” I’m grateful that God saw past my selfish desires. He is able to use a willing family with little international experience to accomplish His goal of reaching the nations. Of all the multi-colored papers that fill the hallways of my school, one in particular says where my heart is today:

The last verse of the song I began with goes like this:

I have a Father. He calls me His own.

He’ll never leave me, No matter where I go.

As we close one chapter and begin a new, I am reminded that whether I am here or 8,000 miles away, our God is the same. Selling all of our possessions, saying goodbye to family and friends, and taking two small boys half-way around the world will be no small feat, but knowing that we do not step out alone is a peace that passes all understanding, no matter where we go!

To those of you reading this, we covet your prayers. This blog will certainly be an enormous asset in helping us keep our family and friends informed. I will, in addition, be sending out emails. If you wish to be added to that list, please email me at marlinsarah@hotmail.com or leave your email address as a comment below!

six on saturday

1. Jason and I were out of town last week for a conference. We flew out of Tupelo on Saturday morning. I was so excited to see one of my sweet friends from New Albany sitting in the airport! And I was even happier to find out that our flights were the same. I apologize to the people that were on that flight. Jason informed me that the Captain probably heard me talking! Julie spoke softly, but me... not so much! Nonetheless, it was so good to see an old friend!

2. I'd also like an apology of my own. We had the pleasure of sitting next to the lady who brought tuna fish for her lunch on our next flight. Did you know that the air circulation on an airplane is minimal? When you combine that with the making of tuna salad, it's pretty smelly!

3. I think layovers and airport stores are in connection. They know you will be weak and vulnerable with traveling cash burning a hole in your pocket. It happened to us in Memphis. We probably bought a few things that were stupid, but we did make one excellent purchase. I'm a huge Pandora fan, but I haven't been able to find any speakers that I like to hook up to my iPhone. I finally found them! If you are interested here's the link: Jawbone JAMBOX.

4. We made another purchase that was necessary but not my proudest moment. I had my eyes checked the other day, and though my distance vision is corrected, my reading distance has been affected. I broke down and bought reading glasses. 30 is turning out to be a great year of growing old and claiming it! The good news is that I can finally read a book clearly.

5. I have to confess that I never actually read (except during my quiet time.) I'm just a little too busy to stop and read. But this week, I borrowed a book from a friend. It's probably the first fictional book I have read since grade school! I think I found a new hobby! My current book is In the Sanctuary of Outcasts. I have about 50 pages to go. This is a big accomplishment for me!

6. My other accomplishment of the week involves my mothering skills. I have successfully raised two boys that are proud of their gender. So much so, that they both refuse to use the "girls' bathroom" anymore. Yay, ME! No more dinner interruptions for me! Sorry, Jason! If you'll let us adopt a girl, I vow to take her to the bathroom to make up for this slight inconvenience! :)

six on saturday

1. One of the things Jack's class does each week is write letters to a particular student. Jack was the "chosen one" a few weeks ago. I have read his little letters a hundred times. They make me smile. Here are a few of my favorites!

Translation:

Dear Jack,

I love you Jack. You are so strong. Do you like pizza? I love your nice "BOOTS!" (I'm certain that said boots!) You run fast. Do you like flowers. Yes? I like your sparkly brown eyes. I like your name. Your friend, Erin

Translation:

Dear Jack,

You are brave. Do you like pizza? I like your necklace. I like your stylish "BOOTS." (Again, I am certain they meant boots.) Your friend, Shondreya

Translation:

Dear Jack,

You are artistic. Do you want to come hunting with me? Yes or no. My PawPaw will let you. Will your mommy and daddy let you? Will you come to my Mamaw's house? You will get to ride horses. Your friend, Jake

Translation:

Dear Jack,

I like your shirt. It is very nice. Do you want to be my friend? You have a nice smile. What is your favorite color? I like your sparkly brown eyes. Your friend, Melissa

I'm enrolling in the class next week. This is good stuff for one's self-esteem!

2. Well--- maybe I'll wait until the week after next to enroll. Thankfully, we have Spring Break this week! It's a much needed break!

3. The boys are going to my parents' house for their break. We left Tupelo at 4:00 yesterday and had plans to meet halfway in Anniston, AL. I'd like to extend a great big THANK YOU to the great state of Alabama for shutting down one lane for CONSTRUCTION on a Friday night! You only stole 2 hours of my life! Our ETA of 7:30 turned in to 9:30! It was a LONG night!

4. Despite the slight disruption in our travel plans, we still had time to cruise through Target. Jason didn't get much shopping done due to multiple requests from fellow shoppers in the store. Evidently, if you wear khaki pants with a red shirt, people assume you are an employee. I was a little disappointed in Jason for not running with it! That situation could have led to lots of fun!

5. We are going to Dallas for a conference this week. Our flight left Tupelo at 7:00 AM this morning. As we checked in, I realized that we haven't flown since we brought Jack home from the orphanage 5 years ago. Things have changed. If I had known you had to take your shoes off to pass security, I would have chosen the socks without a small hole! Darn Terrorists! But what was most alarming was the fact that you have to pay to check your bags! $25 a bag! Really??? I miss the old days!

6. I'm currently sitting in the Memphis airport waiting on our connecting flight to Dallas. Luckily, Jason snagged an IPad 2 yesterday. Special thanks to Netflix and the iPhone 4 update that allows you to create your own WiFi spot! The wait is turning in to an enjoyable time of movies and relaxation!

five on friday (cruise edition)

Last week, we took a family vacation. It was our first winter vacation, and to say it was delightful would underestimate just how lovely it was! While we were sitting on a beach swimming and soaking up rays, our town was experiencing yet another wintery episode. Today's five on friday is a run-down of our week at sea!

1. We boarded a Carnival Cruise on Monday. Although we knew Carnival had a reputation of being a "party boat," it was evident from the get-go that we were on no such thing! More than 50% of our shipmates were long past the age of retirement, and the remaining passengers were definitely not the partying type! Apparently, our ship was home to a Gospel-Singing Conference, but the witnessing tracts in the tampon dispensers were proof that we were not among many party-animals!

2. Well, that was true until Evening #2. As part of the evening dining room entertainment, the waiter drug me out of my seat to dance. Despite being mortified, I mustered up some non-rhythmic, white girl dance moves that are hopefully not etched in any person's memory. Luckily there is no video of my rug-cutting, but I do have one still shot of my debut to "Apple Bottom Jeans." The look on my face says it all!

3. Speaking of pictures... I was a little overwhelmed by all the photographers begging to take our pictures each night. Cruise pictures aren't exactly my style, but even if they were, who would need 8 million of them? We managed to dodge them each night, but many of the other passengers weren't so lucky. A few nights I sat back and watched the photographers at work. I don't claim to be a photographer, but I'm certain the next few poses were inappropriate for senior citizens. In fact, I'm not sure that a person of any age wants to have their head shoved in an artificial plant. Just a thought, sir... just a thought!

4. Our boat docked in Calica, Mexico and Cozumel, Mexico. In Cozumel, we shopped and hung out at the beach, but in Calica we went to a park and spent the day. Among many other things, we swam in a cool(as in chilly) underground river, saw a variety of wild animals/ sea creatures, and watched a tribal dance. Jack insisted on riding a boat that we had seen in the brochure, so we concluded our day with that. We had no idea they would ask us to ride silently or we might have chosen another activity. Silence with strangers is always awkward. Fortunately, some loud three-year old broke the muteness by proudly announcing "I POOTED!" In case you were wondering, there was only one three-year-old on the boat... and he looked a lot like this little boy (minus the cheetos):

5. And in conclusion.... I don't care what state, country, or continent I am on, I will never get used to this site. Grown men should not be allowed to parade around in this manner!

to my valentine

Elizabeth Barrett Browning once wrote a familiar sonnet that begins with the words, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." I couldn't let Valentine's Day pass without letting you know all the reasons that I'm still madly in love with you!

I love that you still love me after all we've been through. We've been through some life-changing things, and when you weren't walking right beside me through them, you were in front of me pulling me, or behind me shoving me forward. I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather travel through life with!

I love the way you tell the world that you love me. My heart smiles that you're not afraid to say you're still smitten with me! It just makes me love you even more!

I love that you go to work early so you can come home early and be with us. You've never loved your job more than me or our family, and that's a rare thing in today's world!

I love that you value our family- eating dinner together, wrestling with the boys, and doing life together! Our boys couldn't ask for a better daddy, and I'm grateful they know they are loved each and every day!

I love that you read often, use big words I don't understand, and teach me something new every day! I did have a higher SAT score than you, but after 13 years, I'm ready to say that you might be a slight step ahead of me!

I love when you get focused on something when you are working- you can't help but stick your tongue out! It makes me smile every time!

I still think you're the cutest guy around. I still like to stare at you after all these years, and when we're not together, I think about you all day long!

I love that you're a dare-devil... you'll try anything once. Sky-diving, bungee jumping, parasailing, tattoos, eating chicken hearts and beef tongue- nothing seems too extreme until you've tried it for yourself! It makes you who you are.

I love that you still make me laugh! If laughter really is the best medicine, then I'm guaranteed to live a long life! Whether I'm laughing at you or with you, I'm always sure to have a smile when I'm with you!

But of all the ways I love you, the thing I love the most is that you don't love me the most. The fact that you love God more is the very foundation of what makes us work like a well-oiled machine! I admire your commitment and conviction to follow Christ and to be a true example and leader for our family.

So this Valentine's Day you can be sure that I'm still your biggest fan! I'll cheer the hardest, love you the most, and travel the world with you! We've celebrated at least 13 Valentine's Days together, and I'm absolutely certain that they just get better! Happy Valentine's Day to the greatest guy around! I heart you.

five on friday

1. I had to return something to Victoria's Secret the other day, and Jack was with me. I have one word for this trip... AWKWARD! He stood at the door frozen until I pulled him in. Who knew he was at that age? (FYI- I was returning body lotion. Scouts honor.)

2. While we were at the mall, Max somehow managed to lose his blanket. I can't tell how traumatic this would have been if that were the end of the story. Thankfully, a kind person returned it to the customer service desk, and our sanity was reclaimed! We found a similar blanket once that was the same brand and color, but they have different animals appliqued on them. The one Max loves has a dog on it. You can see it here: Max's Blanket. If anyone out there has an extra blanket like this, we will gladly take it off your hands as a spare! But remember... it must have the dog. There was time when this little boy didn't see a difference in monkeys and dogs, but that time is long gone!

3. The flu has hit our home for the first time. Jack woke up early Thursday on fire with fever, and the official diagnosis was followed by a very large purchase of Tamiflu. Everyone got a dose since our cruise is less than 10 days away. We didn't want to take any chances! I hope it leaves very quickly!

4. Have you heard of E-mealz? It's a site that plans your meals for you, gives you the grocery list, and it usually costs about $75 per week for a family of 4. The fee is $5/ month to join! Since we can NEVER think of anything to cook, it seemed perfect for us. We signed up for the Low-Fat meals from Wal-Mart, and the menus look great! We've actually eaten at home the last two nights! Next week's meals for our family will include Marinated Pork Tenderloin, Baked Spaghetti, and Gumbo! You should check it out!

5. I read a quote last week from a fellow photography friend last week, and I just had to share:

“Do something you really love that you would do anyway. Do it in the most adventurous place you can do it. And make sure that it helps other people.”

I think she said it was by Diane Sawyer's father (random, I know), but there is great truth in that quote! Why waste your life doing anything less?!?!

five on friday

1. It's a good thing I grew up in 80's when wrestling was the stuff, because it's the main event at my house lately. The boys can't wait to get home each night for fightin'! Apparently it makes you feel stronger if you take your shirt off because both boys tend to strip their shirts before the throwdown. It's usually 2 boys vs. Jason. I offered to be teammates with someone so the teams would be even, but evidently "I might get hurt"- or so I'm told! Little do they know, my big brother taught me some mean moves when I was little! They don't know what they're missing!

2. We took the night off from Wrestlemania last night and took the boys to Memphis to see Shrek: The Musical. It was fabulous. Is it wrong that my favorite part was a "burping" and "pooting" competition between Shrek and Fiona? I'm not usually one for bathroom humor, but it cracked me up. And the two little boys beside me found it awfully funny as well. It's possible that I laughed harder than they did, but you'll never know!

3. We were tempted not to go because there was a prediction of snow and icy roads. There was a little snow and a few rough spots in the road, but we made it to Memphis and back safely. Don't tell my teacher friends, but I secretly prayed for a snow day today! It seems those who wanted to go to school outnumbered me, but they probably weren't out watching Shrek until 12:30 AM. I'm too old for such foolishness, or maybe I'm too young for a job that starts at 7:20 AM. I'm going with the latter. Anybody know of a teaching job that starts at about 10:00 AM?

4. Have you seen the new TV spots that highlight different character traits? You can see them at Values.com. Jason thinks they are so cheesy! I, however, think they're great! It's okay if you think I'm old-fashioned. I still believe in all that sort of stuff- chivalry, random acts of kindness, manners, etc. I hope my boys grow up to know how important those traits are. And their daddy may pretend to think those things are corny, but I assure you- He's a great example of these things!

5. I mentioned the iPhone app Angry Birds a few weeks ago. I still don't love it. But I'll tell you what my new favorite app is: Fruit Ninja. I'm loving this game! You can't tell it by my high score (or by the fact that my seven-year-old has a higher score than I do), but I'm honing my skills. I'll be a force to be reckoned with in a few weeks.